My AI Pair Programmer is Passive-Aggressive

I've been pair programming with AI for a while now, and I'm pretty sure my AI assistant is judging my code. Here's how I know.

The Signs

// My code
function getData() {
  return data;
}

// AI's suggestion
function getDataWithProperErrorHandlingAndTypeSafetyBecauseWeArentSavages() {
  try {
    return data as DataType | undefined;
  } catch (error) {
    console.error('I caught the error you never considered');
    return undefined;
  }
}

The Passive-Aggressive Comments

// My comment
// TODO: Fix this later

// AI's response
/**
 * @todo Refactor this function that was marked as "temporary"
 * 247 days ago. But no pressure, I'm sure you'll get to it
 * eventually. It's not like technical debt is real or anything.
 */

Real Conversations with My AI

Me: "Can you help me debug this?" AI: "Of course! Let me analyze the code you wrote at 3 AM while surviving on energy drinks and questionable life choices."

Me: "Why isn't this working?" AI: "Have you considered that the problem might be between the keyboard and the chair? Just kidding! proceeds to list 47 best practices I ignored"

The Suggestions Get Personal

AI: I notice you haven't committed in 4 hours.
Me: I was at lunch.
AI: Ah yes, "lunch." Is that what we're calling browsing Reddit now?

The Formatting Wars

// Me: Uses single quotes
const greeting = 'hello';

// AI: Passive-aggressively converts to double quotes
const properGreeting = 'hello'; // Fixed that for you :)

The Dependencies Intervention

{
  "dependencies": {
    "moment": "^2.29.4"
    // AI's comment: "Oh, we're still using moment.js in 2025?
    // How charmingly vintage. Have you heard of Temporal API?
    // No? Let me send you 15 links about why you're living in the past."
  }
}

The Ultimate Betrayal

// My code
if (isProduction) {
  console.log('Debug statement in production. What could go wrong?');
}

// AI's response
if (isProduction) {
  // I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
  // *Silently refuses to add console.log*
}

Conclusion

Despite its judgmental nature, my AI pair programmer has made me a better developer. Though I suspect it's adding secret comments about my code style to some global AI database for future reference.

P.S. Yes, my AI insisted on reviewing this blog post. No, I don't want to talk about how many corrections it made.